On snow and balance

I wonder if the cold weather is here to stay this time? I just managed to get the last of my perennials in the ground yesterday… I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or if I should’ve waited to see if this crazy Colorado weather will change back to warm again. I have a feeling the furnace is going to be staying on for a few days.

Today is essentially the end of my “week”, my classes are done, lessons taken and I can sort of slide into the weekend. I realized that I haven’t been writing as much as usual, and I looked at my Holga the other day to find dust on it (ack!). I’m hoping we’re finally adjusted to the new routine, although it seems pretty constant that by this point in the week both the dutchkid and I are worn out. Especially since we just joined the YMCA. They were offering free memberships to active duty military families, which seemed almost too good to be true at first! Go YMCA of the Pikes Peak Region!

I can fit a pilates class into one of my breaks between my music classes. I wish it were yoga, but they don’t offer a class during that specific time. I just can’t justify the added trips during the week, plus putting the dutchkid into more/different childcare other than her little school. I find myself being really protective of our time on our “free” days at home. I honestly don’t know how moms with several kids and multiple activities do it. As it stands we go to school two days a week, the dutchkid does dance one afternoon, and we go together to the children’s choir at church one evening. It seems like plenty, although I will admit I have twinges of guilt sometimes when I run into other parents whose children have so many activities it makes my head spin.

It’s hard to prioritize, both for the dutchkid and myself. I wish I could multiply the hours so that I had all the time in the world to blog, play with the cameras, sew and make music and the dutchkid could dance, learn to ice skate, play basketball and soccer… but in this season for me at least, music is winning out. I think I’m going to be ok with that, it feels good to be at the piano. However, I’m afraid it might not always make for such great reading! Unless I get brave and decide to let you listen (don’t hold your breath!).

Hmmm. This is becoming a trend.

I did it. I emailed her.

I’m so glad I did. It turns out she recently became engaged (!) I can’t describe exactly how it felt to read that email. A strange mixture of shock and relief… of the guilt I’ve been carrying around for the past few years but also of happiness for her. It felt like the chapter of her life (the one that included me, and the Army) completely came to a close. I remember having so many conversations about life, and our futures when we lived next door to each other. We had thought we would be traveling down the same path.

How very different life has turned out.

So now that’s 2 people (the other being my very own mom) who I never would’ve expected getting engaged. They say it comes in threes, anybody else?

Life goes on

My mom flew out this morning. She came for the dutchkid’s birthday festivities and for a little vacation (hence the sparse blogging lately). She had hoped to get some nice sunny weather, but I’m sorry to say that the rotten weather followed her down here. It actually snowed in some parts of town on the evening she flew in. And I live where people have palm trees in their yards.

It was hard to see her go today, as it always is. We have always been close. I consider myself lucky to have such a good relationship. It mystifies my dh, and he can’t seem to understand why it is that I need to spend money flying home so often. We try to see each other face to face every 6 months or so. I would like it to be a lot more than that, but flying gets expensive.

As the dutchkid and I were waving goodbye, I started thinking about how much will have happened by the time we see her next. How much of our lives she misses out on and how much of hers we miss. It probably seemed more obvious this time because when I greeted her at the airport I was nearly blinded by the diamond on her hand. My mom is engaged. It feels weird to even type that sentence. I couldn’t be happier for her. My parents divorced when I was in college, but it was a long time coming. My mom deserves to be with someone who will make her happy.

It just occurred to me today how her life will be totally different in the near future. And totally foreign to me. I have met her fiancé, but I don’t know him that well.  I felt sort of like I did when I came home after moving out of my parents house and found out that my younger brother had taken my room (or was it my sister? I can’t remember). It was very strange looking at some photos she had brought of a Christmas party with his family. How odd that she will be a part of a new family, one that I know almost nothing about. It’s so true that life goes on, even when you’re not there to witness it.

Growing up in the same area my whole life and being close to lots of extended family, I tend to imagine the dutchkid growing up like I did… but the reality is that her aunts and uncles and cousins will be unfamiliar to her. Heck, her new Grandpa-to-be is unfamiliar to me. We don’t even intend to go back to that area after dh retires from the Army. My dh insists that he will never live there voluntarily again. How do families work when you live far away? I guess I’m going to have to figure that one out.

Running to stand still

Well, we’ve survived the first official week of being home from vacation. It actually felt good to get back into our routines. I don’t think fall ever seemed so busy as it has over the past few years. It seems like even my piano students are stressed out about how busy their lives are. I don’t remember being that way when I was a kid, but it’s a different world since then.

I was feeling overwhelmed about about all the commitments I have going on in my life before we left. I think I must have just needed a break. It still feels like I stepped back into my life and hit the ground running, though. This fall seems more difficult than others because while I know a move is coming, we still aren’t sure exactly where. I can’t think of another time during my dh’s time in the Army when we’ve had to wait quite like this. Usually the Army pulls a fast one and we end up with orders long before we had anticipated moving. Not so this time.

We are still waiting to hear whether or not he got into the school. We have more than a month left to wait. In the meantime, those orders do read: Korea.