I wanna be sedated.

No, really.

The dutchkid’s dental visit marked a new parenting milestone for me today. Not only was the visit a complete FAIL, but it ended with me being irrationally angry with my sweet child. I don’t mean irritated, I mean completely pissed off.

It began well, she sailed right through the shot of novocaine and coping with the nosepiece for the nitrous oxide. I thought we were in the clear, and then she decided to have a total freak out about the rubber dam (sometimes called a “raincoat”, a rubber piece that isolates the tooth in question). I tried being in the room, I tried leaving. The dentist was very kind and very patient and tried six ways from Sunday to calm her down.

He didn’t even get to the drilling. The decision was made rather than strap her down and really traumatize her, we would try again at another appointment. Next time with conscious sedation (oh goody, my favorite).

While it was happening, I wasn’t angry, I was just trying to keep it together. As my mother pointed out, the dutchkid’s reaction was probably from being a little claustrophobic, and you just can’t help that. You are forced to breathe through your nose with that rubber dam on, and that can be scary.

But afterwards? Then I was just plain mad. Why couldn’t she just behave long enough to let them do their job? Why do I have to now pay even more money to have this done? (like hundreds of dollars more!) I don’t want her to suffer, but the teeth have to be fixed. And I’m angry with myself too, why couldn’t I have done a good enough job with her teeth to prevent this? And then to top it off I said some not very nice things to her.

Thank you, Universe, for making me feel like a parenting failure today. The dental nightmare just never ends

Dentist, shmentist.

I finally went to have my teeth cleaned yesterday. I had been putting it off for, ahem, longer than I care to say. I was too lazy to find a dentist in Georgia because we were only there a year. Finding a new dentist is right up there next to poking my eye out with a sharp stick on my list of things I like to do.

Lucky me, I have a new cavity and another tooth that needs a crown. And lots of other ones that need to be watched. Part of the reason I hate finding a new dentist is because most of the time you have to take their word for what they see, and I think sometimes they’re in it to see how deep your pockets are.

But honestly, I didn’t get that impression from this dentist. He was recommended by someone we know who retired out here. My teeth are decent, but I have a serious problem with clenching and grinding at night. I wear a mouth guard (sexy, eh?) but it only helps so much.

It’s going to be a doozy of an appointment when I have it done. As a kid I had a fair amount of dental work done, but going never bothered me. I loved Dr. Pierce. He was a pediatric dentist, and I think I went to his office until I could no longer fit in the chair. As an adult, I have a lot more trouble, and usually resort to counting ceiling tiles and trying not to hyperventilate. I’ve never contemplated taking anti-anxiety meds before, but it sounds very tempting.

Being an adult really bites sometimes. Mostly because you don’t get the laughing gas anymore.