I’ve written before about how different my daughter is than I am.
I searched for the post that I was thinking of and I can’t find it. That’s what years of blogging and poor tagging will get you. If you’re ever searching for something here, best of luck to you. Ahem.
I’m not sure why it is that I thought she would be just like me. She is like me in many ways, but she is undoubtedly her own person. I often marvel at the things she does that I just can’t imagine. For example, she is social in a way that I, a confirmed introvert, will never be. And as you can see from the photo there, she can already outskate me.
It all started innocently enough. A free open skate. Then group lessons offered at a discount. Pleas for her own skates. A kind parent who was selling an almost unworn pair. Nearly every Saturday on the ice for 5 months. She would wake up in the morning talking about skating. When group lessons ended in late spring, she started asking about having a coach. Some days as I sit on the sidelines, freezing my tail off while she skates, I ask myself how on earth we got here. Now it’s paying for ice time. Skating twice a week. Costumes. A competition.
This world is so unfamiliar to me. It’s intimidating. And it’s something I. never. imagined. I keep wondering if it’s a phase. If one day she will wake up and tell me that she doesn’t feel like skating anymore. That’s ok, if that happens, but I have this suspicion that I am going to be spending many hours to come at the rink.
If it were up to me, it’s not something I would have chosen. I see many small kids, younger than her even (at 5), who must skate hours every day. I see parents who push. I purposely chose her coach because in talking to her she said, “You know, they’re only young once. At this age, I tell my parents that skating twice a week is plenty.”
I find myself slowly realizing that unless something changes this summer, hard decisions will have to be made in the fall about what time we spend where. I struggle with knowing how many activities are too many. I had hoped she would start music lessons in the fall, but now that is looking nearly impossible. If you ask her, she will say she wants to do it all and more… It feels harder than I anticipated to prioritize activities for someone so different than me.
I am so incredibly proud of her. I just hope I’m doing her justice.