Welcome to deep thoughts with Ellen. On this Friday evening I am home, playing hooky from doing constructive things like practicing my ear training (midterms are next week).
I love The Happiness Project (the book and the blog). I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before. I’m a firm believer in the thought that happiness is something you choose, and I think the insights are often interesting. Gretchen Rubin sometimes interviews people who have something relevant to say on the topic, this one with author Hope Edelman was the most recent: “If I could remove one phrase from the English language, it would be ‘It is what it is’”
Too often, it seems like a fast and easy way to label a complicated situation “a thing I cannot change,” thereby giving the speaker permission to abandon efforts to improve it. No.
I thought that was interesting, and I see her point, but I must say I humbly disagree. I find myself saying this phrase a lot, usually in reference to the deployment. It is a complicated situation that I most certainly cannot change. When I use it, I don’t mean that I am going to wallow in whatever misery is happening, but rather because no matter what I do I can’t make my husband come home any faster. You just have to get through it. It’s more helpful to me to just acknowledge it as a fact of existence. Often I use it in talking to someone who is asking me about how I’m doing, how communication is, etc. If the person I’m talking to has experienced deployment, they know exactly what I mean. And if they haven’t, usually they can fill in the blanks.
I guess I use it more in the sense I’ve heard it taught in yoga and meditation: “This moment is as it is…neither good nor bad.” I never really thought of that as a cop out. Do you think it is?