A New Project and a break

Hi.

I’ve been meaning to write something for over a week and finally had the time to sit down at the computer this afternoon.

As the day dh leaves is rapidly approaching, I’m feeling rather overwhelmed. Midterms are next week, and I’m also knee deep in memorization work which requires a lot of focused time at the piano. Add in one large helping of guilt because I often can’t drop everything to just hang out with my dh and kiddo, and you’ve got one quiet blogger and commenter. So I may be scarce for a bit.

However, I do have something new to show you. Its been on the back burner for awhile, but I think I’m finally ready to show it off.

During a previous deployment when the dutchkid was a baby, I used to take a near daily photo to send to my dh so he could see her grow. Some of those photos are my favorites, when I look through them I can really remember what that year was like. This time around, since the dutchkid doesn’t change so much day to day, I decided to try to capture my own deployment experience.  I debated with myself as to what the best format would be, and finally decided to begin a new blog devoted just to the project for cohesiveness…and so that I won’t be tempted to write so much as I do here. To let the photos help me tell my story.  

To those who wonder what it is like to live through a deployment, I hope that it will be enlightening. For those of you who already live through them, I hope you’ll find some sense of community in the shared experience. Sometimes it’s comforting to know someone else has felt the same way.

So please go and have yourself a look!

…and the other shoe drops

I should have started taking bets, for real. This morning my older dog started acting really strange and didn’t seem like himself. I called the vet, feeling sort of like the crazy dog owner who always needs reassurance. Turns out I’m not crazy after all. He needed emergency surgery.  I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened had I been at school today.  I don’t want to think about my vet bill, either.  Thankfully, he did very well after the surgery and hopefully he’ll be home tomorrow.   After the last incident I am starting to feel like we are on borrowed time with him.

I think that rounds out my three, don’t you? Therefore, according to the axiom of threes, from here on out should be smooth sailing until dh leaves.

Riiiiight. I’m not holding my breath, either.

Threes

That’s how crises work, you know.

1. My dh’s granddad is dying. It could be a few days or a few weeks, but it doesn’t look good.  And d-day (deployment day) is rapidly approaching. 

2. After over 50 years of Christian education, the dutchkid’s preschool is closing its doors this December.  Her teacher cried when she tried to tell me about it.  I had a bad feeling when their enrollment was so low at the start of the school year, but I thought surely they wouldn’t bail halfway through the year (ha).    I am sad and a little bit angry.  Trying to find quality flexible childcare mid-school year isn’t turning out to be easy.  Plus,  Daddy leaving + switching schools + starting kinder next fall at yet another school wasn’t part of my plan.  All I can do is hope my name comes up on at least one waiting list. 

That just leaves Number Three.  What will it be?  Shall we place bets?

Pink sign

Yesterday was the Race for the Cure. I’ve always wanted to run one, and since I’m rapidly running out of weekends before my resident jog stroller-pusher deploys, it finally made me get out there and do it.

Seeing all the pink signs the runners and walkers were wearing was so moving. In case you’re not familiar with it, they have bright pink signs you can wear along with your race tag, either in celebration of someone who is a breast cancer survivor, or in memory of someone you lost. Some people had lists, and that’s what’s so scary about the whole thing, is when you start to think about it, you really do end up with a list.

In the end, my sign just had one. My grandma died of breast cancer when I was in high school.  Even though I was really just a kid when she died, there are a lot of things in my life that I owe to her influence.  I have so many questions that I wish I would have been able to ask her.  I came across a card not too long ago that had my name written in her handwriting, and it’s funny how something like that can trigger memories so strongly.  I hope I would have made her proud.

If you ever get the chance to run the Race for the Cure.  Do it.  You won’t regret it.

Final

I have a hard time making big decisions. I’m a big fan of having a back door, stopgap option. I was not a girl scout, but I would’ve been a good one, I think. Isn’t that their motto? Always be prepared!

Anyway. I just inactivated my nursing license in the last, lonely state where I still held one (it’s not even the state I live in).  I haven’t practiced now in over 5 years. To go back now, I would have to take a refresher course, if I could even find a hospital to hire me. I hate paying the money to just keep an active license that I’m not using, and it’s a pain to keep up with the continuing education and all the rest.  Besides, I’m actively pursuing a different career.  It’s just a formality.

Still. It made me pause.  It feels like I’m putting all my eggs in one proverbial basket.

I love the quote by Thoreau, I’m sure you’ve read it: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined.”   It sounds good in theory, but in practice it’s actually quite scary.

This is it.  Music or bust.

Fun at the fair

this post is a bit picture heavy, if that matters to any of you

I love the fair. I’m not sure why. I definitely don’t love the crowds, but if I get a chance to go, I usually try to. This year was fun because it’s the first one where the dutchkid was really aware and excited about it.

The 4H kids might be my very favorite part.  We just finished Charlotte’s Web too, how perfect was that? We kept on talking about how Mrs. Zuckerman washed Wilbur with buttermilk to make him pretty. We saw lots of pretty pigs.

You could even milk a cow, which cracked me up. I didn’t grow up on a farm, but my brothers and sister had jobs milking. What city slickers will find entertaining.

Then there was this bad boy, you should have heard the dutchkid plead to ride on it.

She wasn’t even scared!

Of course funnel cake was near the top of my list. Oh, come on now, I only eat one once a year. We ended up wearing our powdered sugar, though, it was so windy.

I’m pretty sure a good time was had by all (except maybe dh, who was not so enthused about being the responsible party on the ferris wheel. How was I supposed to know he hadn’t ever ridden one before?).

Goodbye fair, see you next year!