Starting anew

It’s been an interesting past year with all things new: a cross-country move, settling into a new house and community, a new unit for the dh, a new school for the dutchkid, and probably the biggest personal thing: returning to school to study music.

In all honesty, I’m not looking forward to the coming year as much as I normally would a new year. It’s the big impending D — deployment. Oh, not for awhile yet, but I can’t look ahead without seeing it lurking around the horizon. I keep tripping myself up thinking, “next year at this time…”

Last year, I didn’t really make any resolutions. This year I do have a few, nothing fancy. Get up earlier. Make a dedicated effort to spend more time at the piano (two hours instead of just one). Plan a fun outing with the dutchkid every week. Take more photos.

That last one has provoked some thought. I realized that I really miss the time I have spent in the past with the camera (the 365 project I did in 2008 was one of the best things I ever tried), and I would love to improve my skills. However, at this point I know myself well enough to know my plate is going to be full enough without the added stress of a big photo project. I am kicking around some ideas for later in the year, but you’ll have to wait and see on that. According to the things I’ve read about resolutions, simply writing it out that I want to make an effort to get out the camera more will help. We’ll see if that’s true.

I hope you enjoy reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the new. And that you have lots of success in whatever resolutions you attempt for 2010 (do share!).

Happy New Year!

How bad is it…

to seriously consider backing out of throwing your kid (your only kid, mind you) a birthday party?

Look, I know that’s not going to win me mother-of-the-year, but here’s the thing. The dutchkid got a lot of presents for Christmas. My mom emailed me today to ask me what suggestions I had for her upcoming birthday and I really had a hard time coming up with things. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to shortchange her just because her birthday falls a few weeks after Christmas. But is it really wrong to NOT feel compelled to share the day of my precious daughter’s birth with lots of other kids, loads of plastic-y gifts and grab bags? Maybe it’s because my family didn’t do birthday parties every year, mostly we just celebrated with family. I think I’m starting to realize, too, that I don’t want to take on something where the expectation is going to be “bigger and better” every. single. year.

My dh feels differently, which means he will probably win this one out of sheer guilt and we’ll have a party as originally discussed. Sigh. Cupcakes with just a few friends and singing happy birthday was sounding pretty good to me. I guess that makes me the party pooper.

Recovering, with deep thoughts

This is an odd little stretch of time, don’t you think? That lull between Christmas and New Year’s. It is really a recovery after all that delicious food and dessert I’ve eaten. I like it a lot in that there aren’t usually any great expectations and most of the holiday flurry has subsided. I have some random thoughts and no one to pester them with, so here you are:

Over the past few days we’ve been listening to a lot of John Rutter because my dh put one of my cds of his choral works in with the mix of Bing and Nat King Cole. I have read before that John Rutter is not a particularly religious man, and there’s no doubt that some of his songs have been used ad nauseum (my high school choir director had us sing “For the Beauty of the Earth” so often that I can still sing you the words and alto line 15 years later). Even so, for me it is nearly impossible to listen to his Nativity carol without thinking how angels must sound like that in heaven.

Overall our Christmas was quiet but very enjoyable. We spent most of the day itself with some friends of ours. I was commenting to my mother that while often I feel really lonely on Christmas without family around, this year didn’t have that feeling at all.

It has definitely left me time for thinking. Maybe too much time. I had one of my old repetitive “bad dreams” on Christmas Eve, it was one of the nightmares I used to have about working as a nurse. Too many patients, not enough time, everything going wrong… with an added twist. In this dream I left my shift without finishing what needed to be done and without giving my “report” (where you talk to the next nurse coming on duty to transfer your patients to her). It was very strange, since I haven’t worn scrubs in over 4 years! While it took me awhile to shake off the awful feeling — what a way to wake up on Christmas morning! I think it represented my feelings about not returning to nursing. I don’t want to go back, but I still must have some lingering guilt about changing professions.

Ironically, I want to remember that dream and how awful it felt. That way, the next time I’m nervous about performing or I’m taking an exam and I ask myself WHY it was that I decided to go back to school in my old age… I’ll be able to remind myself that I would much rather be where I am now, as opposed to living and dreaming those nursing scenarios over and over again. I think it will work, at least until I start having nightmares about music!

Have yourself…

a merry little Christmas. Wishing you the best and brightest of this lovely season.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put the finishing touches on a last minute angel costume (it just wouldn’t be Christmas without last minute sewing, would it?)

Here it is

I haven’t had much to say lately, which is nice in a way. Nice in that my life has slowed down enough for me to start really thinking. Christmas and New Year’s feel like a package deal to me, and I like the reflection in looking back over the year and thinking of the one to come.

Dh came home last Friday. The dutchkid missed him terribly and I’m already dreading the day in the coming year where I will have to try to explain that he’s not coming home for a long, long time.

But I don’t really want to think about that now. The presents are wrapped, the gifts for family made it to Michigan, most of the cards are sent, gifts for teachers and friends are made (I decided to change it up and make caramel corn this year, via Orangette. It’s fantastic). It’s time to relax and let the big day finally get here.

Are you ready?

all about the sprinkles

I don’t think I’ve really made cookies with the dutchkid before. Certainly not sugar cookies, mostly because I get really irritated at how sticky the dough is (what can I say, I’m not a very patient baker).

Watching her put the sprinkles on was the best part. She’s going to love helping me with the Jan Hagel. Next time we do sugar cookies I think I’m just going to make several giant ones and let her go to town on the decorations (I just spread them with plain white frosting and then she did the rest). I think this might be the first thing I’ve baked here that has actually turned out! There might be hope for me after all, thanks to the Pie in the Sky high altitude cookbook.

They’ve been waiting for me

The deployment gremlins.

Or Murphy, whatever name you like to call the phenomena of things going wrong when your spouse is gone.

Mine is only gone for a few days, a minor TDY, but obviously it was too much temptation for the gremlins to ignore. I was ripe for the picking, a military spouse whose husband has been home for well over a year.

I dropped the dh off at the airport, and then someone rear-ended me at a stop light on the way home. And then she drove off instead of meeting me in the nearby parking lot as I’d asked.

We’re fine, my car is fine other than a minor dent and scratches. It could’ve been worse. I’m feeling deliciously vindictive thinking of ways of how the universe could punish you, lady in the white SUV with too much eyeliner. Perhaps the gremlins will come and visit you.

See? I told you my house was cold

We woke up this morning to a frozen pipe in our upstairs bathroom. We were very, very lucky and it must have only partially frozen, it didn’t burst (it was just the hot water pipe, so we didn’t have hot water in the shower).

Which brings me to another thing. Say what you want about the crack business, but I love me a good plumber. I’m putting the one we found here on speed dial for the dh’s next deployment (we’ve called him before for something else, so now he’s proven himself twice).

Other than that, today was a beautiful day… the sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky (and the road melted to being drivable and I escaped the house, hurray!) I hope those of you who are next in the storm’s path stay nice and warm!

Delayed anxiety

We’re on day two of some serious snow around here. I have cabin fever, so I’m going to ramble on for a bit. Since the weather here started getting wintry, we’ve had some trouble keeping our house warm. I love my house, and we have more sliding glass doors, skylights and windows than you could ever want… but it sure makes for a house that’s difficult to keep nice and cozy. The other night I actually went to sleep in long underwear with fleece pants and a hat on. I’m scared to see what our heating bill is going to be.

This morning my dh got up and was puttering around, when he realized that he couldn’t find one of our labs (the older one). When he finally located him, he called me downstairs to witness it. That poor old dog had gotten up on the couch to snuggle with a blanket and was still asleep (the dogs are NOT allowed on the furniture, and they know it). He didn’t even budge when confronted by dh and I, standing there. Not even a repentant look, just a “I’m old, and to heck with you people, it’s freezing in here.” I think I need to make us some fleece curtains.

Today I had a music theory final to turn in and tonight was supposed to be our big concert… but everything is canceled because of the weather. I’m ambivalent about that. I don’t know that they’ll cancel the concert entirely, they’ll probably just reschedule it and I’ve been looking forward to getting it over with. I know my piece (Nouvelle Etude in Aflat by Chopin) but after the last screw up I’m pretty anxious about it. I know I need to get back on the proverbial horse. It’s sort of a weird combo of wanting to do it because I’ve been working and preparing, but relief that I’ve got a reprieve. Thank you snow… I think.

Maybe the dutchkid and I will sled our way to the grocery store down the street in order to get out of the house today. And besides I’m out of staples (ie, my diet coke).

Wherein I spoil the surprise

I don’t think I’m that bad about keeping secrets, but I am a terrible gift giver because I always want to ensure that the person will like it… which usually means that I ask them first.

But this is for my niece, and since she can’t read, I can spoil the surprise for her mom can’t I?

I finished Miss Ragdoll up yesterday, and I’m pretty happy with how she turned out. Although I had to put that movie Coraline out of my mind, particularly as I sewed on her button eyes (creeeeepy!). I used a pattern from Amy Karol’s (aka Angry Chicken) shop. My niece is just a little peanut, so I suppose this isn’t the most age appropriate gift, but hopefully she will enjoy chewing on her hair (it’s wool felt, so it’s nice and thick) as long as she doesn’t manage to get the buttons off. The dutchkid is insanely jealous, so I’ll probably make her one too at some point. Maybe with multi-colored hair? Ooooh, the possibilities…