After several weeks (maybe even months?) of agonizing about what I should do about studying music, it is finally falling into place. I don’t know how many times I have sat down here and tried to put my conflicted-ness down into words, but I felt like I couldn’t even form coherent thoughts.
I really struggle with the balance of what I want to do combined with the deep desire to spend time with my daughter while she’s young. I do feel that mothering is a valid, important job. My first priority, quite honestly. But becoming a mom doesn’t negate all the other dreams I had. On top of that, there is the military aspect. We may not live here long enough for me to complete a degree, so I wondered if it would be even worth starting. But I just couldn’t abandon the idea entirely, that felt so much like giving up on the dream. Especially after all the work and time I’ve put in with my last teacher.
My mom gave me some really good advice and I swear I’ve made it my mantra. When I couldn’t decide or felt really burdened, it helped me to tell myself that’s all I had to do was start moving in that direction. Even if it was just a small step, and then re-evaluate.
And finally today, after meeting with a member of the music faculty at the local community college, it all came together. Now, my end goal is to someday get a second bachelor’s degree in music. And of course, a community college is not as, shall we say, “sexy” as going right into a 4 year program. But as I listened to him talk about their program, and transfers and what their goals are, I realized that at long last I had the answer I’ve been looking for.
A bachelor’s program in music is very demanding, which was why I was very scared about it in the first place. I wasn’t sure that I could juggle classes and get enough time to practice and perform up to par. This community college program caters to both people who are just learning to be musicians, and people like me who are preparing for the rigors of a 4 year program. I can work on the basic things that will transfer (like theory, music history) and also continue with private lessons. While I don’t have to audition now, I will be expected to do a jury at the end of each semester, as well as attend and play in various recitals. Which makes me want to panic, but I know it has to be done. It will give me a chance to see if I can juggle it all, get better at performing, and hold up physically (if my tendinitis rears its ugly head again).
The classes coincide perfectly with the hours of the preschool that we’ll be sending the dutchkid to. And I don’t have to drive 45 minutes one way to get to the big university. The community college has a shockingly easy admission process, and they’re giving me resident tuition.
I no longer have any excuses and classes start in August. All aboard the crazy train!
WOW! That is so great. It’s amazing how the Lord provides. I’m so excited for you (and perhaps a tiny bit jealous
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Yay yay yay! I’m so excited about this for you
It sounds perfect! Congratulations 
Here’s to new beginnings!
That sounds fantastic! I’m so happy that it’s worked out this well. Sending a big mental hex sign to ward off any hint of tendinitis.
That awesome! I’m so happy for you.
Good for you! No knowledge is ever wasted. If it all becomes too much, you can always set it aside ’til a later date. You will be enriched, BA or not. There is no pressure. Just remember your technique!
I am so, so excited for you!! (and more than a tiny bit jealous) It sounds great, and you won’t regret it, of that I am sure. I am going to live vicariously through you, so make sure you give us lots of updates.
Damn, everyone else already said what I wanted to say!! So, “Ditto!!!”
Sounds great, Ellen you’ll do good. Wish I knew what I want to do other than what I am, a wife and mom.
so cool, that it’s all coming together for you.
It sounds like a great deal! I’m glad it is all falling into line perfectly….so do we get to go to your recitals?