The dutchkid’s birthday is rapidly approaching. And I’m not exactly sure why, but each year when we celebrate it makes me sad.
It makes me wonder what sort of mother I am, why am I not happy about another birthday? It’s not that I wish she could stay small forever, and this year she’s certainly had milestones that we really worked for (hello, potty training!).
But this morning, I watched her put together a puzzle. It was a Christmas present and a few weeks ago she wasn’t able to do it. I was amazed and proud (and glad she got the puzzle loving genes from me). Then suddenly I started thinking when did I stop paying attention long enough for her to change so much?
It might be because as every year passes it is more and more likely that she will be an only child. And all I can do is sit there with my camera and wish time would just slow down so that I could savor it.
::hugs:: from a stranger
)
I love the photos, and I totally understand the sentiment. I just know there isn’t anything to say that doesn’t feel like a platitude.
*hugs* It’s OK to feel however you feel, just remember that.
Thank you for the hugs, (and wifeunit, I don’t consider you a stranger!)
That’s why we have cameras
One of the best investments you can ever make.
That’s sort of funny because I always wonder if I’m a bad mother for feeling *so happy* about the kids getting older on each birthday.
We all look at things so differently but we *all* wonder if we’re bad mothers.
Too far away to hug you, but not too far to share your pain… never out of prayer’s reach, and there isn’t a night that goes by that we don’t talk with God about this very thing.
((hugs)) I am sure that you are a wonderful mother. Every year at birthday time I look at them and wonder where time went. Happy Birthday to your daughter!
Sniff. I know the feeling. The other day when I asked Tucker for a kiss, he gave me a blank look. Then today, out of the blue, he leaned over and kissed me. I kept asking for more kisses and he kept giving them to me! I thought to myself, where have I been in the last 48 hours that you’ve miraculously learned the joy of kissing?
And I also empathize with your fear of having an only child…